Last Sunday was among the weirdest I've ever experienced.
To make a LONG story short, we had lunch with Lynn's sister and brother-in-law, his older brother and my middle little brother at Benihana to celebrate Lynn's birthday. Midway through our meal, Lynn's older brother excused himself from the table, and no sooner had he left the room then he was back calling out to Lynn. About three seconds later we heard a very heavy THUD in the hallway, saw a waitress turn, shriek and cover her mouth and Lynn rounded the corner and then returned with a very frantic look on his face saying, "Amy, we have a problem here." GREAT. A hundred possibilities raced through my brain at that moment...he fell on a steak knife, threw up in a bus tub, etc. As it turned out, he fainted from a standing position before Lynn could get to him. My brother Nic went after Lynn to help if he could. They got Lynn's brother to his feet and after a couple more wobbly moments were able to get out into the fresh air. Nic and Lynn both say that as soon as the fresh air hit him he was fine...regardless it was SCARY(!!) in the meantime.
With all the excitement out of the way Lynn sat back down to eat the rest of his lunch and had to leave early to get his brother back to the airport and return the rental car. Upon Lynn's departure, Caleb freaked out...started crying like we'd poked his eye out or something. Our waitress returned with refills and asked Caleb what was the matter...was it big brother? was it daddy falling? We told her it was uncle that fell and that it was Dad leaving that threw him into this frenzy to which she replied, "Well, I will have to spank your daddy. That will make you feel better won't it." The rest of us busted out laughing and Caleb carried on with the crying and the gnashing of teeth.
After the rest of us had finished our lunch we all packed up and headed out, Lynn's sister and brother-in-law went home and Nic, the boys and I drove out the airport to pick Lynn up from the rental car return.
When we arrived at the rental car return area, we drove around the compound looking for a place to meet Lynn. It was next to impossible. We ended up parking outside one of the car company return lanes and Lynn had to walk out to us. That would have been the simple thing...but if you know Lynn, simple is not his way. At all. Ever. At first Lynn couldn't find us...the only black Jeep Grand Cherokee parked a quarter mile away from the building on the other side of a row of pilasters. Nic d/c'd Lynn to direct him toward us. Nic said, "Just keep walking straight." To which Lynn replied, "Why walk when you can run?" With that Lynn, a 6' 2" tall, 240 pound, caucasian male, proceeded to haul ass towards us, shreiking and flailing his arms as he did it. The thirty or so people who were unloading their luggage from their rentals all stopped and stared, no doubt waiting for jihad johnny to blow up in their general direction. Nic and I stood there outside the truck, laughing so hard I almost wet myself. Just as Lynn was in the home stretch, he tripped and tumbled onto the pavement as he tried to hurdle some steel cabling between pilasters. He hopped right back up, continued running and hollaring toward the truck. At that point all the innocent bystanders switched from jaws agape to scanning the parking lot for hidden camera crews...at least they'll all have an anecdote to share about the end of their trips.
Once all THAT fun had come to an end we left the airport and headed home. We were maybe five or six miles from home, barrelling down the highway, recounting the bizarre day, when my [insert string of explitives that would make a sailor blush here] fuel pump took a crap on us. We pulled over, called the tow truck and Lynn's sister and BIL to come get us, and sat on the shoulder of I-35N waiting for a good 45 minutes. As we sat there, Caleb napped, Logan read books, asked a million and one questions and just generally chattered away. Lynn listened to his football game and Nic and I milled around the bar ditch. As we milled, some lunatic comes floating overhead in a flying lawnchair rig with a paraglider parachute advertising a scummy website address. Nic and I both decided at that moment that we could NOT believe we left the house today with out my camera or his video camera. If we'd thought to bring them, none of this would have happened, I'm sure of it.
By the time we finally made it home, everyone was beat into the ground and nothing else on the day's agenda was accomplished. What a day. I would like not have another one of those for at least a month.
