just call the authorities...

if you happen to see me wandering aimlessly through my neighborhood missing clumps of hair and blathering nonsense. When you do find me in this state, more than likely what's caused this break with reality is one of my offspring has again flushed a ball of toilet paper the size of their (Proff-sized) head down the toilet causing it to overflow all the while forgetting to tell me that the toilet is overflowing.

I hate toilets.