a cautionary tale...

Against my better judgement, I recently did a swap with an unfamiliar person. I went about this swap as I would any swap I participate in. In my swaps I include items I think will suit the swappee. If they do collage or assemblage, I enclose a little package of ephemera and ribbons and such. If they like cats, or dogs, or owls, I try to put something in the box along those lines. If they admire something I've made, I might include one of that particular thing too. Long story short, I swap as I would like to be swapped with...I live by the swapper's Golden Rule if you will.

Well, for this last swap, I sent Captured Souls #11 (after she admired it), a necklace I made a while back, a nice ephemera pack and a set of store bought notecards. It was all packaged nicely and mailed Priority mail. I got a gushing email from her telling me how much she loved everything too. What I got in return was a 6"x9" padded envelope with a portion of a Sampler issue, last month's if memory serves: other businesses' promotional postcards and business cards, promotional trinkets and giveaway things. Not one thing made by this swapper, save for a business card. I think I am most disappointed by this swap for two reasons: firstly because we emailed back and forth things we liked (colors, animals, collections) and she said "...I'm going to whip a lil something up, gather some other goodies..." (indicating to me that we would swap for a few handmade things and a few store bought things) and secondly because she is also an indie business owner. Don't misunderstand me, I think the Sampler is an excellent service and maybe one day I'll get over there on time and catch a subscription before they're all sold out (I am amazed at how quickly they sell out...in minutes! everytime!). But I would never knowingly swap my own work for promotional items of other people I'm not even swapping with. I feel taken advantage of in this situation. I think THAT is what I am most chapped about, letting myself be taken advantage of. That is not normally something I allow to happen.

So that others may learn from my mistake, I've put together a few bullet points for better swapping.

• If your inner dialog says to pass, LISTEN!


• If you choose not to listen to your inner dialog, at least establish, with some certainty, what will be swapped.


• If you are going to swap with someone unfamiliar, agreeing on a monetary value would be a responsible thing to do.


• Really, just go with your gut...not all instances deserve the benefit of the doubt.

From now on, I will stick to sending surprise packages to my friends and swapping with familiar folk or swapping in hosted swaps like Haremail and Back-Tack where you get to know the person you're swapping with and can put more thought into the package and even make new buddies in the process.

* * *

Now that I've put this out there into the ether, it turns out I am reminded (embarrassingly so) that while there are some instances that do not merit the benefit of the doubt, there ARE instances that deserve the courtesy of finding out what was going on with the situation. I should have just sent my email and forgone the cautionary tale. However, if it serves as a gentle reminder and saves someone from having to experience that yucky feeling, then all is not lost. Sometimes things WAY beyond of our control collide with everyday life and then our well-meaning loved ones step in to offer help. I don't know about yours but none of my WMLOs are mind readers and while a handful of random piles might make perfect sense to me, it's probably tough for someone outside my brain to make heads or tails of it. So with that said here are a few more bullet points for better swapping:

• Keep in touch with your fellow swapper. If something comes up, just send a quick email stating things will be running behind schedule. People will understand and appreciate the update.


• If there are still issues after it's all said and done, check in with your fellow swapper first. You'll avoid causing even more yuck feelings for everyone involved.